This is written by guest blogger/yogini Becky Bloom. Becky is a Tula member who I met this year through our mutual buddy Erin Grotheer. She is a Logan Square girl and is delightful to have in yoga class because she has a good heart (and will laugh at my nerdy yoga jokes.) Ms. Bloom embraces challenges on the mat but also knows how to enjoy the process.
I am not a calm person. I’m generally impatient and I’m very competitive and I have been goal-oriented since, uh, forever. (A reenactment of baby Becky’s first thought: “Baby’s first goal: crawl. Goal achieved, I can crawl: BOOYAH, NON-CRAWLERS.”)
So, when I unrolled my mat for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME, it was with the intention of taking a step back from school, from work, from winning, from thinking about the future. This is easier said than done.
At the beginning of my VERY FIRST CLASS in a VERY LONG TIME, I was constantly combatting my urge to WIN AT YOGA. That’s what yoga’s for, getting a good butt and winning, right? Fighting these instincts, I tried my best to stay in the moment. Again, easier said than done.
Here is a non-inclusive list of fears I had walking into my VERY FIRST CLASS in a VERY LONG TIME:
1. Not being good at yoga.
2. Sweating too much.
3. Farting on the teacher during an adjustment.
4. Not being the best at yoga.
5. Not being able to touch my toes.
6. Grossing the teacher out because I sweat too much.
7. Hair looking bad.
And then I popped up into that first downdog in FOREVER. And it felt a little weird, but a little familiar, a little uncanny. I’m not going to say that all of a sudden I was in the moment, and accepting what was happening for what it was, and acknowledging thoughts without dwelling on them. It’s not that easy for me. My fear of farting on Cassi still dwelled in the back of my mind. But, gassiness aside, it felt good to return to the practice.
Each time I practice it gets a little easier to be in the moment. My body feels stronger and more graceful. I feel calmer on days that I practice. I’m motivated to get my yog on.
I’ve been practicing consistently for the past month, and the yog is becoming a part of my everyday life. I’m able to accept and move on from minor annoyances at work and at school (well, at least MOST of the time, not all the time yet).
My commitment to the yoging is exciting—I’m not usually motivated to do things that are good for my body. If I miss a day, I don’t feel badly, because I know I can return to that mat and I’ll figure it out.
Month 1 of my new yog-venture is down. I am VERY EXCITED to see where month two takes me.